Ohio.

Baltimore, MD

Norfolk, VA

so I bought an iPhone and its the best thing ever. More to come tomorrow. Fo reals

Nooo Beans

With all the exciting stuff going on on this tour I would have thought I'd have more to write about, but all I really have to say is....

Coyote Ugly is the worst bar ever created. Ever. Oh, and if my moustache was dark instead of blond I would have one killer 'stach.

ready!

The day has finally come. I get to leave tomorrow, and I can't wait. I've made though a month and a half of nothingness. It seemed like it was all a horrible dream and I really was destined to walk the streets of Chico/ Nashville, broke as hell. But it's not. My life for the past six weeks has been like this picture,the bird is the tour and I'm the cat. Does that make any sense?

*just so everyone knows, my eyes still look normal.

I guess he couldn't hang, or maybe he got a clue.

Morraly Shady.

I would like to give this kid two big thumbs up. He really hit home with me here, I have finally seen the light. No, not really. I've had a hard time stomaching these kinds of people for years, even when they were paying for my rent and *gasp* my cigarettes. I'm glad nowadays I don't have to use confused, christian people's money to purchase my morally illegal vices. Oh wait, I guess they still pay my bills. Just please pray that this kid gets a clue and maybe lives life a little before calling out people. I was going to post his myspace here, he pissed me off that much, but that might a little too much. If it bothered you that much it takes about 5 seconds of searching.

Most Covert.

Lately I've been suhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifbjected to so many entertaining premium television shows that I'm completely immersed in (entourage, weeds, californication) and I would highly suggest you watch all of them. But I have been having this urge to reach back to my past and take in some shows of yesteryear. That's where this little gem from our northern, little sister country comes in. I thought I made this thing up in my head, I couldn't find any episodes for the longest time and then I finally hit gold and found a shitload of them. The dynamite show I'm jocking here is My Secret Identity, staring none other than Jerry O' Connell. He plays a superhero, of sorts, he can fly with aerosol cans and run really fast, other than that he's just a less a chubby version of his earlier role, but it's still great. There's also a crazy scientist that helps the young Andrew Clements (Jerry O' Connell) with his "super powers". In my opinion the scientist is a huge super power cock block, he never lets little Andrew shine, like in episode 18 where Andrew can't take credit for his good deeds.
And now here's episode 18. Take a look for yourself and get hooked, and if you're a closet fan of the show, enjoy. If anything, the theme song is pretty bitchin.


Online Videos by Veoh.com


Online Videos by Veoh.com

Someone has more time on their hands than me, but they actually do slightly interesting things.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

For your viewing pleasure.
My Roommate Is a Dick

It's worth a look, and it may hit home with some of you. I should probably be on this as I have become "that guy on the couch" as of late.

Randy Newman

I had this urge to listen to Randy Newman the other night. I don't know why, so I acquired a few of his records, and they're not half bad. I don't think my parents ever listened to him, but his songs have this thing about them that makes me really comfortable, like they were used to put me in a good mood when I was a cranky little child, but I'm almost positive his music would never been heard in my parent's house.
Take a listen for yourself, he's got a myspace, crazy huh? He's got an interesting way of writing, his vocal delivery is almost comical, especially with so many tv show impressions in the back of my mind.
And on another note, not a sweet sounding as a Randy Newman song, but still great, what the Kerney, you've gone the way of my brother's live journal. And by that I mean I'm tired of you not updating your shit. Computer or not, get it done. I know you have some important thoughts to share with everyone. Thanks in advance.

Ultra Cred....sort of

With all this free time on my hands I've been researching some American pop culture. This time around I narrowed my focus to tv shows I watched as a teenager, mainly Nickelodeon's Salute Your Shorts. I came across this tidbit of information that kind of blew my mind, in a small way. Remember Bobby Budnick, the extremely red- haired rocker type kid, well he actually played in a band. Not just just any band, but one with a helluva shitty name and some actual legit players ie; Steve Vai and Brooks Wackerman. Kind of not what I expected to find. Take a look for yourself and here, it's interesting for a least two minutes, about the time it took me to write this, and now I'm over it and can put this little gem of knowledge away until I need to impress someone by busting out the name Bad4Good.

HuMMM.

HUM on a Cadillac commercial, I never thought I'd see the day.
Wicked Shit

After looking online at other people's blogs all day I figured it was time I updated mine.
Currently I'm back in Nashville, and to be honest, I'm not all that stoked on being back. It could be because of my hellish trip here (missed my flight, airline lost my bags, ipod died, Arabian prince getting women all hot and bothered in front of me) or it could be my dead car battery, my car key being lost by someone or it just could be that I'm not as adjusted to this place as I originally thought. On the plus side, I have my own kitchen again so I'm able to cook for myself once again. I wish time would go by faster and tour would start in a couple of days.
Superdrag will be reuniting for a few shows, and I get to see one of them, should be great.
Bruce Sprinsteen's new album is pretty good, except it's called MAGIC. what the hell is that about? If I went off album titles alone, which I do on occasion, I would never have listened to this one.

hey, you know what's sweet, getting robbed at gun point while you're walking home, IN YOUR OWN FUCKING TOWN..Awesome, screw this place. If I ever see those guys again, I think might, honestly, actually, murder them. Now that I think about it their guns probably weren't real, but what is a cell phone and eighty bucks really worth, my life? Not really. so until I find my phone again or get a new one, just don't try and call me, because some asshole might pick up and act like me. At least I got to keep my wallet and Id, nice fucking dude's, I'm more pissed off than I can even explain, so that's why I'm writing right now, because I sure as hell can't call anyone. FUCK.

Tv.

With all this time off I should be writing a whole helluva lot more, but my brain has seemed to shut off due to the little amount of thinking it's been doing, or not doing. I have been taking in a lot of knowledge from my new best friend, TV. We hang out a lot, stay up late at night together and just comfort each other. It's pretty nice. One thing TV has taught me is how to cook lots of things, via the Food Channel. Another thing I learned is obesity is "the number one, secondary case of death in the United States", courtesy of this man.

It kind of sounds like an excuse to me, but maybe he was born like that. TV is getting annoyed that I'm not spending enough time paying attention to it.

Bacon.

From Wikipedia-

Bacon bits are condiments frequently used to enhance the flavor of salad or potatoes. They are a common element of salad bars. Bacon bits are made of either small, crumbled pieces of cooked bacon or, more frequently, textured vegetable protein artificially flavored to resemble bacon. They are most often salted. Popular brands include Hormel Bacon Toppings, Oscar Meyer Real Bacon Bits and Pieces, and Betty Crocker Bac-Os.

Hope this helps you out Daniel.

Greenville, SC

Sitting in tiny- ass airports is not that much fun. I've been here for about two hours now, just waiting for my 20 minute flight to another airport where I will, again, be waiting for another two hours. At least there are old people in wheelchairs about to race each other, so that's passing the time.

Hey, what?

I was all excited when my younger brother gave me his old computer, I thought to myself 'now I can blog all the damn time, sweet.' But it's been a week and I have been at a complete loss as what to write about. Something that should be exciting to write about was warped tour, I spent a month on that thing and should have some great stories, which I have, but they are lost in my head at this point in time. At this very moment in time I'm sitting a wonderful Super 8 in Dallas, TX. In all actuality this place pretty much sucks, I would rather be anywhere else right now, which I will be soon. It's weird, I'm at a complete loss for anything interesting to say. Maybe it's because I ate too much pizza, maybe it's because I've become extremely lazy the past few days and can't think about anything but food and tv, that's probably it. That should change soon. If not I'll just keep posting boring- ass blogs and I'll get super fat.

Warped Tour makes me.....

I don't have much time here, so I'll be brief, I really need to get my own computer, sneaking onto people's busses and suing their computers is going to get me beat up, i don't even know who's this is. But my main focus right now is how much I sweat, I never thoght it would happen, but now I'm a sopping wet mess every day about 9:30am. Not good. But lifting things is making me strong as hell, I think I'll start competing in some lifting contests one of these days, right after the dude from the Throwdown gives me some being tough tips. More posts in the future.

the search.

Searching your body for ticks is kind of beat. I would recommend doing it if you've been exposed to tick infested areas, but it still sucks. I found one on my leg, it was a wee baby tick, but now I keep thinking there are some buried in my hair, currently burrowing into my scalp. But it was all worth it, we're going to have the sweetest trail to river behind my house, and machetes are pretty much one of the most masculating (which is not a word) things to use, ever. I'm serious, buy one, they're five dollars, and cut some shit down.

Sighting of the Week

I met Young Buck two nights ago, he was a nice guy, actually talked to me when all he had to do was speed past me, but the best part, he was coming in to buy software from Jacob Underwood (ex- O-Town). What a pair.

So I had an epiphany last night, I hate busing tables. It was the most unbearable thing I've ever had to do, so I quit. Kind of. I actually just kind of left during work and went home. No one ever called to see where I was, they probably just figured I had realized how shitty of a job I had and called it day. Things I will miss from that job; free food. I thought for a while about what else there was but that's it. Now it's time to look for another job that I want to go to.

So at the insistence of literally ones of people I am posting a new blog. I've been thinking about doing it lately but I've been super busy trying not to fall asleep at my jobs, yes plural, so that takes up a lot of my free time. It's not like stamping receipts at guitar center isn't cool and exciting (it's not) or busing tables for hicks that travel to the big city from _____________(insert backwoods, hick town) isn't thrilling (it's not). I'd rather be doing something that I enjoy, which I hope comes my way soon. I feel sometimes like I've taken a huge step forward with my life, but then it sometimes feels like I stumbled backwards just a tad. It's not that I miss my hometown, I just miss the people, so I think they should move out here, seriously. I do get my fair share of excitement at my jobs, I got to watch Tim McGraw perform, he was pretty tight to watch, and then there was Bucky Covington of American Idol fame, he sucked huge balls, but the fans that come out of the woodwork for this show were amazing. It's like they'd never seen a person in concert before or a colored light, or person for that matter. They were completely blown away by their VIP seats and pictures of horses all around them. Oh yeah, they all thought I knew Bucky and that I should tell him it's so and so's birthday so he should play longer. How can so many North Carolineans have the same birthday? It's crazy. At GC I get to be belittled by my coworkers and customers, all in one shift. I figures the customers would appreciate me considering I'm the only one not trying to push a strat pack or an extra set of strings on them, guess not. But it's not all really that bad, it's just fun to write about it. Colombo's on tv now, so I'm going to watch the shit out of that now, that show is my new jam, seriously.

People

So here's a little story for ya'll (I learned that out here). Some friends and I were out at a bar/ restaurant last week,it was a monday night and things weren't really that crazy around town, except for the bar we were at. Not so much even the whole bar, just at the actual bar. Some rowdy college type girls decided it was a great night for tequilia body shots. It was funny to watch from a distance, someone laying on the bar with their shirt up having her friend lick salt off her and eating limes out of her mouth. We all sat back and laughed, nothing out too out of the ordinary, then the cops show up. And totally block our view. They weren't there to lay down the hurt, they seemed (one in particular) to be there to lay down some pipe. This one cop got pretty involved, not taking shots, but gawking over these girls. He was so close to them it was ridiculous. And now the clencher. At one point he leans over and kisses the girl on the bar. Not a peck but a full on open mouthed kiss. I thought it was weird, my friends did too, but I guess they do things a little bit differently out here. Now you may think that is obsurd, but then there's this.

#2: hey Peter can u talk to TP guys about me getting them a machine to try out for the rest of the Paramore tour?
8:10 PM
Peter Sellers: do you make custom ones?
#2: I will flying out to Bamboozle this weekend. If their open to the idea I can get the band set-up with a machine starting at Bamboozle to be used for the 10 remaining dates of the Paramore / Almost tour.
#2: I'm so confident it will increase the bands sales that you'll never play a show without it.
#2: what do u mean by custom?
#2: Nurit 8000 GPRS.jpg
#2: this is what they would be getting
Peter Sellers: we really dont get any requests for credit cards though
8:15 PM
Peter Sellers: if we can have it for the rest of the tour for free, then we will keep it
#2: do you honestly expect kids to ask when only 2% of bands accept credit/debit cards
Peter Sellers: if it works out
Peter Sellers: yeah i do, because the one or two kids per show that only have a card do ask
Peter Sellers: but theres usually an atm in the venue
#2: all I know is all my bands with machines are selling more then the ones without
#2: If at the end of the tour it's something that you still feel hasen't increased sales then you can just mail it back to me & only pay the :
$100 Application Fee
$10 Service Fee
#2: Cutie Is What We Aim For has a machine & so do most all the other FBR bands. 9 out of 10 kids 16 or older have a debit and/or credit card
Peter Sellers: they dont want to pay anything. and they want you to pay for shipping
Peter Sellers: cute didnt use it on tour with tp
Peter Sellers: well he had it, but didnt really use it
#2: they got right after
Peter Sellers: they had a credit card machine when they were on tour with this providence last month
#2: I've never offered anyone this offer before
8:20 PM
#2: if they want to try what I'm offering then the offer stands
#2: the only person that will be missing out is them if they don't want to try. they have nothing to lose becasue they'll do at least $500 on the machine at Bamboozle
Peter Sellers: no they wont
#2: kids spend more by making impulse decisions with credit/debit cards at a bands table vs. going to the ATM to take $20 out to spend on any of the bands on the tour. I would only say half the venues if that have ATMs
Peter Sellers: well im in the venues every day and i see the atm's. were playing big venues, and they have atm's about 80% of the time
8:25 PM
#2: then tell me why bands like Bayside & Straylight Run r doing $600 a night on their machines playing the same size venues but the other bands their touring with aren't
#2: that's an extra $18,000 a month
Peter Sellers: how many of the kids are using their cards instead of cash though?
Peter Sellers: david just invented his own credit card machine anyway. the davinator3000
#2: The average transaction size of all my bands on their machines is $32 in comparison the $10 a kid would spend with cash.
#2: all the bands say kids spend more when they use their cards
#2: it helped NOG out in a big way & that was 4 yrs ago
Peter Sellers: they hardly had for any time at all
#2: actually they had it for a yr
#2: anyways the offer is there. there is no one that would loan a $1000 machine to a band to try out without a contract
Peter Sellers: well we have the davinator3000 anyway
Peter Sellers: thanks though
Peter Sellers: see ya
You left the chat by logging out or being disconnected.

Some of you may know who the second party is, and if you do this probably makes you laugh. It really just fuels me and my dislike for the unmentioned second party.

...And I'll Be There

To the few Chicoians that read this, spread the word and brace your fat asses because I will be making the first of my few trips back to Chico for a few days. Mark your calendars, May 12th- May 15th. I might be in Sac for a day but one of those days will spent in Chico and in Chico only. So come say hi or something. And the best part is I got really cheap plane tickets, seriously cheap.

What The Falk?

Columbo is on some shit. If he's on the case you're screwed. CSI better take notes form this guy, you don't need science, just a dirty cigar and a trenchcoat.