...And I'll Be There

To the few Chicoians that read this, spread the word and brace your fat asses because I will be making the first of my few trips back to Chico for a few days. Mark your calendars, May 12th- May 15th. I might be in Sac for a day but one of those days will spent in Chico and in Chico only. So come say hi or something. And the best part is I got really cheap plane tickets, seriously cheap.

What The Falk?

Columbo is on some shit. If he's on the case you're screwed. CSI better take notes form this guy, you don't need science, just a dirty cigar and a trenchcoat.

Ranju

One of the best things in my life right now is.... VH1 Classic. It's amazing. Where can I see Damn Yankees in concert or watch back to back Nelson, Hall & Oates, Police, Will Smith, LL Cool J and Foreigner videos? Nowhere except on VH1 Classic. I also watch the history channel quite a bit. But something that threw me off was the "This day in History" segment yesterday. They never have those but yesterday in some year before there was hippies, lsd was invented, who gives a shit. Way to ruin a nice day of Modern Marvels and talk about acid and show hippies walking around tripping out. Well, I thought it was lame. I also have officially gotten myself lost three times now, and I mean driving in the country not having a clue which spotted brown cow was the one I was supposd to remember from the last time I was in the area. The worst of the three I eneded up about 18 miles outside of the city, I've been looking at maps for the past few days just trying to figure out how that happened. With the 18 milies I was out of town, plus the 25 I was away from my house to start with, that is quite a distance, I don't even think I was in the general Nashville area.

Get a free messenger bag for joining the Army

SO it's been a while, which is why this is a great time for a post. I don't know where to start. I'm extremely bored right now, Easter is a ridiculous holiday, it throws off everyone's work schedules which in turn throws off me getting hired at a job, get back into town fuckers. So to fill my spare time I've been watching Entourage, an unhealthy amount, like all of it. I finished watching the most recent one earlier today and now I'm having withdrawals, it's so damn good. Now I have to mourn the loss of Johnny Cash's house, which seems like the thing to do out here, even though it was already ruined when Barry Gibb bought it last year. The house probably couldn't handle what would soon be living in it's walls, so it decided to end it's existence as a house and become a hindrance to someone in the form of allergies. It's strange, I haven't seen anything that interesting since I've been out here, but hopefully once I leave the house that will change. Now to my actual reason for this post. I know I don't live in Chico anymore, but this has been bothering me since before I left, so here it is. What the hell is the matter with the News and Review? I mean seriously. This is strange for me to write about for a few reasons. One being that Daniel and Josh are the only two people that will read this for a while, and I've already gone into detail about this with them and the second reason is I know some great people at the CN&R. But come on, get your heads out of your asses and actually look around the town you live in and find out what is actually going on there. I know that the Yule Logs are a great band and all, but they're only around once a year, why not nominate the Greg Scott Band for something. There are plenty of other rock bands in town that deserve, but probably could give two shits about, getting a nomination. Take Brighten for instance. At this current time in Chico rock music they are the biggest band in the town. They go on national tours, have the support of well known bands, they are doing what every band in town wants to do. All this and they're all under 21. Or take Jon Wesley, he has some of the best songs in town, with on of the most cred, and competent, backing bands to boot, but instead of him getting nominated his good buddy's SIDE PROJECT gets a nomination, now that is just stupid. In my mind there is no excuse for this, Jon plays so many shows around town, so I don't really think there is any way they have never heard at least one of his songs. I'm not even going to mention the bands I played in, because that would be ridiculous, but seriously, what are these things based on? At least the Americas got in there, even though they could give two fucks about this whole thing, but I think all hell would break loose if they weren't on there, even though the people that choose these bands are never in attendance at most shows. There is no point to any of this, I just had to get it off my chest, and it feels pretty good, but it would probably feel better to have some whisky in me and be telling this to one's face on any given night, but due to my 2600 mile haul this outlet will have to do.

.

You know, sometimes touring is kinda shitty, you miss things, for example, my younger brother's college graduation, or father's day. I can get over missing those, but then when you get sick as shit and can't talk to people, that's when I wish I was home in my own bed not dealing with long fucking drives and the wonderful Arizona heat. I'll probably be better in the next few days and wonder why I was in a bad mood in the first place. I've actually been having a great time. More on the great times later.

Sharks Love Donkey Meat

So much has been happening this past week, not real things, just little happenings. I'll try to start at the beginning.
I moved out of my house, then took a nice eighteen hour train ride to L.A., slept for four hours and went on an eighteen hour van ride to Denver, CO. The next few days went by in a strange kind of blur, and before I knew it we were in Reno, NV, the home of Vegas style living done in a very half- assed way. I'm not much of a gambler so I just watched (almost) everyone else lose their money. Our tour manager made some money, but he's the only one. My time in Reno was spent walking around casinos and eating, they have some great steak dinner deals at many places, and I took full advantage of the deals. Then it was on to S.F. I stayed at my lovely friend's house after the show and went exploring in the city by myself the next day. I took some buses around and got to experience the thrill of being yelled at by a foreign old lady for sitting in a vacant seat, I'm still not sure why she was so pissed at me. Some of the guys came up to get me and we ended up at a nice little jazz club and then got lost trying to find a good spot to look at the ocean, but ended up in an even better spot, it was the best end to a night in San Francisco ever. The there was L.A., nothing too interesting there. Phoenix was sort of exciting. We went to an ASU party, those kids are all pretty much idiots, and they like to prove it. Example. I get yelled at not to fuck up this dude's bathroom, while I was waiting in line, I yell back that I'm not some jackass friend of his that goes around breaking shit in bathrooms for the hell of it. He was a dick, I can't fully explain the situation, I'll just say he was out of line yelling at me, so proceeded to throw cigarette butts in his pool for the rest of the night. Saturday night was spent in San Diego, the show was great, over 2,000 people attended, lots of fun. They had a lot of security there patrolling the area for thugs, but they seemed to spend most of their time harassing the bands. This was the highlight of my entire week; We're sitting on a stairwell talking, two security guys come up and immediately ask for our id's, no hi, how you doing, nothing, just straight to the id's. We get them out, he looks at mine, starts bending and twisting it, then turns to me and says "This is an identification card". I say "yeah, that what you asked for". He then looks at the card again and says "You were born in 1981 and don't have a driver's license?" At this point I should have told the guy to go fuck himself, but I just said yes and told us not to hang out around where we were at, which was actually right outside our dressing room. I was little steamed after this, but what really pissed me off was the fact that there were random kids casually coming into the dressing rooms after bands were done and no security was to be found during any of this. A little frustrating. I also had a craving to watch Escape From Alcatraz after my San Francisco visit, which was filled late Sunday night, that is a fantastic movie, go rent it.

b&BJ's

For the past two years I've been doing a study of things written on the walls in bathroom stalls, and I've come to the conclusion that 97% of people that shit in dirty ass truck stop bathrooms hate George Bush. I'm not going to get into politics because I don't really care all that much, I was just pointing out an observation I made. Also, apparently there is an abundance of men that really need to give blow jobs*, hate Bush, love bj's, interesting.



* I learned this one by reading the walls too.

Back In The Saddle Again

So I'm at home and being the jacjass I am I didn't post a damn thing while I was gone. My goal for the next two weeks before I flake out on writing again is to post my stories from the previous tour. I have a small excuse, my power supply pretty much completely stopped working and if you could see how I have it rigged up right now you would want to send me the $90 for a new one so my house doesn't burn down when I'm not looking. Seriously though, I owe the ones of people that read this an exciting update, and I promise it will be on yor computer screen very soon. As for now, go here and see what I did for six weeks.

Picture Update

A few pictures to entertain, stories to come soon.


Gum wall in San Luis.

My Texas cheese, chili, jalapeno, bacon omlette at 2am, it was great.



How to poop in a dirty bathroom.

Sad.

what?

Orange suckin'.


Myspace deletion.

Help with one of the most complicated things ever, deleting your myspace account.

Smart satanists.

Dance party Orlando.

Week One

After a week of almost all sold out shows I'd say my first week on tour has been a success. I wish some more exciting things would happen because I don't have any stories to share. We're in Texas now, so we'll try to make something happen tonight. That's it, seriously, I've been out of the game for a few months now so I forgot how to find excitement. I'll reharness my powers and get into some mischief.

Putting The Gay Back In Reggae

The summer of 2002 was a great one. I was in no hurry to get back into school, I had a great job, I had not a care in the world. So myself and a friend decided to start a band. It started off as a two piece, myself on drums and the other half of the band played guitar and sang. I can say I was anything but stoked on the project, but then one day it clicked and I had a new love for the band. We decided to name it Rip- Off Halo, maybe because it kind of sounded like Rip- Off Refused, which in hindsight is what we did, but that's besides the point. So we wrote some songs and found another guitarist, things were sounding great, I was having a good time, enough said. We recorded a demo we could sell on our upcoming tour. Now this tour was not just any tour, it was all of our first tour, and to top it off it was with the Americas. So the tour was booked, the merch was made, we did a nice split EP with both bands. A few disagreements were had about the artwork, no big deal we thought at the time. Rip- Off Halo found a bass player days before the tour, we practiced and then we were off. Six guys in a twelve passenger van, all the equipment included; two drum sets, two half stacks, four guitars, a bass amp, two boxes of merch and a pain in the ass pedal board. We were ready to take over the world, we didn't give a shit about anything, lock up your women and children. The tour started in Chico, a good warm up show for a local, supportive crowd. The onto Redding, great response from the crowd, everything was moving along smoothly. The next day was in Eureka, the show was great, Casey played accordion in the street, the cops pulled us over, we slept on a hardwood floor. Day four we headed to Eugene, Oregon. Said Rip- Off Halo singer drove this day (I did all the previous and future driving) he scared the shit out of everyone. The Eugene show looked a little sketchy, it's in a basement, it's raining, it smelled like lentils and burlap. Everyone but the lead singer/ tour booker are reluctant to play at first, but after the show we were all satisfied and had a great time, we drive overnight to Seattle, sleep in a parking lot of a park. I was driving so I had nowhere to lie down, I try the roof of the van, someone else slept in the park, then it started to rain, so we drive to the person's house that is putting on that night's show. He gives us free deep fried seafood, lets us shower and then we head to the venue. This show was supposed to be the climax of the tour, some great bands were on the bill, but we were so into not caring that we just didn't care. We were stoked on the inside, but we were also on our way to takeover the world, so we had to keep cool heads. The show was played, we all had a great time, but ROH singer was getting to be a little distant with all of us. The next show was supposed to be in Portland, but it fell through. We drove to Portland anyway to hang out with some friends and to pick up some other friends at the train station. While I was in the bathroom ROH singer snaps and yells to everyone how he hates this tour and we all treat him like shit, apparently because he had doubts about some upcoming shows not coming through and because we didn't offer enough praise for how awesome the tour was. He asks to dropped off at a friend's house, we gladly do so. The tour is over, he had quit the band, told everyone he couldn't be in a van with us, so we decided that night he would not be continuing our journey home with us. The next morning I call him, no answer, I tell him we are leaving soon. As I'm loading up the luggage he gets dropped off. Then the task of telling him he is not leaving Portland with us is at hand. The tension is thick in the air. I finally break the silence and tell him, " We decided it would be best if you didn't ride back with us." He doesn't argue, just asks for a ride back to his friend's house. The whole ride he's trying to get us to reconsider our decision, we decline many times, drop him off and head home. He eventually found his way back to town after a few weeks and communication between us (the remaining five) and him has pretty much ceased to exist. And that is my story about leaving a lead singer in Portland. As an afterthought, that was still one of my favorite tours I have ever done, maybe someday we'll all get together and finish our world domination, but probably not. Also, don't be a bitch, people will like you better.

On the road again.

In a matter of weeks I will have some new things to write about besides my currently boring working class life as I will be hitting the road with Waking Ashland for the next month and a half. I am pretty excited to be getting out of town and doing what I love best, traveling. I get to sit in a van and play bass for 35minutes a night, I'll be writing about my new adventures as they happen. And to make it exciting I will try and exaggerate every little thing that is even remotely noteworthy. To prepare myself for this tour I have locked myself in my room and been practicing their songs non stop (not really). In actuality I set aside forty minutes a day to play along to the CD, I feel pretty good about it all. Also, if you are up for this challenge, February 9th I will be playing two shows in Sacramento, one with Waking Ashland and one with Number One Gun, so make the trek to Sactown and watch both of them. Here is where I will be after that, come say hi if you want.

Feb 8 San Luis Obispo, CA
Feb 9 Roseville/ Orangevale, CA
Feb 10 Campbell, CA
Feb 11 Anaheim, CA
Feb 12 San Diego, CA
Feb 13 Hollywood, CA
Feb 14 Tempe, AZ
Feb 16 Amarillo, TX
Feb 17 Dallas, TX
Feb 18 San Antonio, TX
Feb 19 Spring, TX (Houston)
Feb 21 Tallahassee, FL
Feb 22 Orlando, FL
Feb 23 Atlanta, GA
Feb 24 Nashville, TN
Feb 25 Charlotte, NC
Feb 26 Baltimore, MD
Feb 28 University Park, PA
Mar 1 Philadelphia, PA
Mar 2 Montclair, NJ
Mar 3 Bellmore, NY
Mar 4 Wilton, CT
Mar 5 Providence, RI
Mar 7 Buffalo, NY
Mar 9 Covington, KY (Cincinnati, OH)
Mar 10 Lansing, MI
Mar 11 Grand Rapids, MI
Mar 12 Downers Grove, IL
Mar 14 Minneapolis, MN
Mar 15 Madison, WI
Mar 16 Milwaukee, WI
Mar 17 Des Moines, IA

In other news, Number One Gun has a song in an upcoming movie, it might come out in America, but I'm not sure, check it out here.

That's all for now.

Wednesday is right now.

I don't know if I'm an idiot, but I don't care, I think my brother is damn funny. I mean, look at the drawing above, genius.

Happy New Year

After a grueling sixteen hours and dealing with this and this we finally made it to the Seattle area to celebrate the new year. The worst part about the second story was we were literally fifty feet from our exit, and this was after having to drive three hours out of the way on snow covered back roads, awesome.

To Whom It May Concern

Just wanted to say sorry to everyone that was at the after show party last night that wanted to hang out with me, I was not in attendance. From the looks of my house it was a good time. On top of that I wanted to say a big Fuck You to Dan Burns for apparently pouring beer all over my kitchen floor, sorry I wasn't there to shit in your sleeping bag later in the night. Don't be surprised when we come to your house and I start pissing on your floor, I guess that's how things are done now? I'm having a great time right now triple mopping and sweeping the house, thanks again and please don't bother ever coming over again, you can stay at your parent's house next time you come through town.

Tim Jordan R.I.P.

Last night I was told some very sad news by a friend. Apparently a friend of mine whom I was just getting to know better committed suicide. I was caught off guard by this news as Tim would be the last person to do this.

Standford Prison Experiment

This is crazy, I read The Wave when I was younger, but never realized how intense this actually was.


The Stanford prison experiment was a landmark psychological study of the human response to captivity, in particular, to the real world circumstances of prison life. It was conducted in 1971 by a team of researchers led by Philip Zimbardo of Stanford University. Volunteers played the roles of guard and prisoner, and lived in a mock prison. However, the experiment quickly got out of hand, and was ended early.
It was a variation of the Milgram experiment, which was conducted in 1963 at Yale University by Stanley Milgram, Zimbardo's former high school friend. more...

That Crackhead Chapped My Lip

Oh Chico. I've realized now that Chico isn't totally my town anymore, there's always the threat of some asshole thinking he can come to town from where ever (Sacramento, Oroville, New Orleans) and take shit over. I saw this happen with a frat dude punching Ben and the I got a taste first hand last night when a random crankster walked by me and full on slapped me, open handed, in the face. No warning, for no reason, he just hit me as hard as he could. I was caught so off guard I had no idea what had just happened, I just stood there for a minute trying to figure it out. Luckily I have one of the toughest friends ever, Italian Dave aka Navy Dave, Chuck D, then names keep going, so anyway, Dave instantly is after the dude and his two friends and they are afraid, they were zig zagging across the street trying to avoid Italian. I'm following the whole time as well. So we get across the street and the guy starts saying things I don't want to repeat on here, but I'll give you an idea. He was white trash as can be, he kept calling himself a gansta' and other words that go along with that, you get the idea. So Dave wants to kill this guy, I'm pretty passive and don't know what this guy is about, so I'm kind of on the line, I would like to kick him in the teeth, but it's not like that's going to happen. At this point the guy is crouching down say to come and fight him, but it looks like he's getting a knife or something out of his boot, it turns out he was really just tying his shoe so Dave heads into Starbuck's, where we were going to use the bathroom, then the guy starts talking shit and wants to fight so Dave comes back out and the dude starts to walk away, at this point Brandon, Josh and Ben all walk up and the guy gets really tough then and starts to beat up a trash can, he's punching and kicking it, and then it falls on him and he's pinned underneath a trash can, at this point I realize he's harmless and should have been beat the hell up, but the trash can beat up to it, the he got up and got the hell out of there. Crackheads suck, Italian Dave is great, he just chased after that guy no questions asked, that's some risky business. Everything is fine now, the guy just slapped my face so hard he instantly chapped my lip, I used chapstick overnight so I'm okay now.


In other news, check out this story here, some people are idiots, so are the authorities, look closely at the picture.

Rodeo Bulls Drink Blood

It's Tuesday, the work week is just starting for me, and it seems like forever already. I cut my finger real nice- like today, it won't stop bleeding. I got to print some stupid shit, I can't even begin to describe the crap that people order (see above image for example), it goes to show how many borderline retarded people occupy this world. In some positive news, I've named my International propane fueled truck Jake Ryan. If you see him around say hi, he's a good, hard working piece of machinery.

The Best Thing Ever..... For Now

Today I discovered one of the most entertaining games I've ever played. It sounds stupid at first, but once you have it in your hands it's as addicting as cheese balls or NASCAR racing, but better for you. So here it is. It's called Guitar Hero, and you have this fake guitar. The idea is to play along to songs that are on the game, there's some good ones too, ie: Cowboys From Hell, Ziggy Stardust, Killer Queen and about twenty others. It's so much fun, I never imagined it would be good at all, but it is, go to Best Buy and try it out for free, then buy it, I think I might. I haven't tried it in Best Buy, but I'm sure you'll feel ridiculous, so buy it and take it home and then don't feel all stupid, just rock out with a miniature guitar and some sweet songs, seriously. Two words, Guitar Hero. That's all.